Is unconditional forgiveness even possible?
Getting hurt by someone we love is a feeling that’s hard to describe and even harder to deal with because the level of trust we grant our loved ones is special. It’s a level of trust that can only be measured in the deepest of emotions. So how can we deal with having our trust broken by that special someone? Can we ever really get over it?
Researchers encourage us to forgive and thus find closure when our trust is broken. But when our hearts feel like they are broken into a million pieces, can we really find it in ourselves to forgive? And if we do forgive, do we forget? Or should we?
When our trust and heart are broken we feel angered, wounded, miserably sad all at the same time. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions all tangled up into one major feeling of powerlessness. We find ourselves in a position where we need an explanation that would somehow justify what happened, some sort of justification that could ease our hearts and minds. And if a good-enough explanation does not come from the person who hurt us, can we find it in ourselves to come up with this explanation in order to move on? I think we can. Accepting is a big part of being happy. With yourself and the world around you. Acceptance may also be key to mending broken trust. I believe that it’s important to look within ourselves and find the answers we need to move forward. It’s also important to not forget the circumstances that brought us to that point. And this is where not forgetting steps in. Not forgetting doesn’t mean holding on to a sense of bitterness, but realising what led us there and how we can try not to let ourselves be in that same position again.
Sometimes forgiving comes after forgetting. That’s because time heals all wounds sooner or later. But if we manage to find it in our hearts to forgive before we forget, the healing process will be quicker and more meaningful in our development. We can take what we learned from that particular experience and avoid ever finding ourselves in such a situation again. Self-development is, in the end, made up of experiences that we let become part of us.