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Romantic versus realist in a relationship

Every relationship has its stages. Early on, the focus of any relationship is getting to know our partner, establishing your common grounds, learning about their beliefs and desires in relation to yours. Later, the focus changes to building a strong foundation for your relationship based on the knowledge and common grounds set in the earlier stage. From there on, each relationship goes through several stages depending on the type of individuals engaged in that relationship.

Romantics choose to see the world in pink shades of passion and excitement. Their feelings are always the most extravagant. Their hearts mostly take over their minds and in a relationship they strive to permanently ease that feeling of insatiableness. But what happens when the magic feeling of being in love makes way to feelings that are not so over the top? These is a point where people usually start seeking for advice on how to act in relationship, what to say, what to do. It seems that, romantics can only be satisfied with extremes and it may be hard for them to accept that maybe the connection they feel with their partner is losing intensity and what once was only sparks and magic is turning into the predictable pace of routine. This is where romantics need to learn about balancing passion and the mundane if they want to hold on to a relationship. And, surprising or not, their appetite for excitement can help. The trick is to seek balance between the expectations of being in love and the more grounded perspective of loving someone. Their romantic approach can be very healthy and fulfilling for a relationship since their spontaneous nature will drive them to always keep the couple’s spark alive.

Realists, on the other hand, are ready to embrace the mundane since it’s in their nature to appreciate the predictability and stability of routine. They also tend to have an easier time accepting that people are not perfect, as they may appear to a romantic in love. Realists are also more likely not to be shaken by the transition from being in love to simply loving, because their appetite for magic and passion is overruled by their appreciation of constancy. However, just as romantics, realists also have a balance that they need to achieve. They need to allow their relationship not to be taken over by routine, acknowledging that any relationship benefits from a little magic once in a while. Realists too need to allow sparks and excitement into their lives in order to have a long, healthy relationship.

Life in general is all about balance and, as the Greeks say, love is more likely an ability than it is a feeling. The ability to balance our feelings may very likely be one of the keys to a happy relationship that can also unlock the door to our own satisfaction with life. 

Dec 03, 2017